The Stiletto Explainer is reporting for duty. Jorge Cortell is the CEO of a company that specializes in health care software; thus, he is a man who knows a thing or two about health — especially brain health — as it relates to footwear. While at a tech conference devoted to funding entrepreneurs in New York on Tuesday, Cortell saw something perplexing: a woman who had left her brain at home, as evidenced by her spiky black shoes. So he posed a question to the world:
Event supposed to be for entrepreneurs, VCs, but these heels (I’ve seen several like this)… WTF? #brainsnotrequired
WTF could stand for WHERE’S THE FOOT? WHY THE FLOOR? WIDE-TOE FABLES? That question became irrelevant as people turned a collective side-eye to Cortell with another query: equating brainlessness with a type of footwear worn primarily by women — could that be sexism?
No, no, no, the Stiletto Explainer explained, in effect. You’re missing the point! True, full-brained entrepreneurs never care about their own fashion choices, only the fashion choices of others. What’s more, I’m just protecting the health of your precious feet.
In an email to the Wall Street Journal, he defended his health-minded stance and expanded it to cultural criticism:
It seems like some debates are taboo. Cultural complacency is dangerous. Particularly when it affects health.
This keen-eyed observer of shoes eschews superficiality — at least, the sort of superficiality he projects on women wearing high-heeled shoes. For if you wear stilettos, you must care not at all for data or science or "improvement":
I want to be part of a culture that appreciates data, science, health,choices, improvement...not taboo, cliches, superficiality
What does this have to do with intelligence again? "Self-harm," he explained, "means not too smart in my world." Ah yes.
So, I suppose that we're just going to have to have a few words with some women. Marissa Mayer, Sheryl Sandberg, Tina Fey, Katie Couric, Anna Wintour, Kathryn Ruemmler, Mika Brzezinski,Christine Lagarde, Michelle Obama, Condoleezza Rice, J.K. Rowling, Madeleine Albright: You most likely have no brains at all. Wobble home, grab some flats, and thank the Stiletto Explainer for protecting your toes and your brains.