Adam Levine Supposedly the Sexiest Man Alive

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Actor Adam Levine arrives at the "Can A Song Save Your Life?" premiere during the 2013 Toronto International Film Festival at Princess of Wales Theatre on September 7, 2013 in Toronto, Canada.
Actor Adam Levine arrives at the "Can A Song Save Your Life?" premiere during the 2013 Toronto International Film Festival at Princess of Wales Theatre on September 7, 2013 in Toronto, Canada. Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Bland scruffball Adam Levine is rumored to be People magazine's next Sexiest Man Alive.

But wait! Dating a series of sexy ladies does not a sexy man make. Many tattoos do not an interesting man make. This is a man who — when asked to do something funny — just removed his shirt. How can this be, with so many other men out there? A plethora of sexy options. Just dozens and dozens of other dudes: alive and well, and sexier.