How to Do Juicegiving

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This time tomorrow, much of America will be enjoying a bountiful day of pies and tryptophan-induced slumber. Maybe we'll even indulge in a menurkey or two.

But one writer from Fast Company refuses to participate in the "unrealistic" expectations of Thanksgiving. Complicated, overwrought menus and "the thought of Thanksgivukkah, replete with pecan-pie rugelachstuffing tots, and menurkeys" is giving the writer "anticipatory heartburn." She will take a stand against carbo-loading. She will celebrate Juicegiving. 

Instead of a six-course meal that involves chewing, she will be indulging in four courses of cold-pressed self-righteousness. She ranks each juice against its (very rough) Thanksgiving facsimile. A Blueprint Cleanse Greens Juice replaces green bean casserole. Naked Juice's Carrot Ginger supplants sweet potatoes. Pumpkin pie comes out ahead of Jamba Juice's Pumpkin Smash Smoothie. Puzzlingly, roast turkey and its "substitute," the Odwalla Chai Vanilla Protein Monster, are tied — presumably, not due to taste.

So now you know how to do Juicesgiving. But the question remains: Why