Let this be known as the week that awkward, stiff, silent things have made their inner thoughts known to the world at large. First depressed mannequins revealed their existential musings, and now the Internet's favorite visual punch line — the stock-photo model — has opened up. Samantha Ovens broke her silence after finding herself looking anxious in silk pajamas under the headline: "I fantasize about group sex with old, obese men." While Ovens isn't really into that, she also doesn't seem to care "in the slightest" that the Guardian took some liberties with her visage. Also, she's pretty stoked about her new Twitter followers. In short, carry on with editorializing stock photos for your own entertainment.
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