fake feuds

Joan Rivers Resolves to Keep Fighting Jennifer Lawrence in 2014

Photo: Getty Images

We’d like to think that America’s Universal Imaginary Best Friend, Jennifer Lawrence, can say whatever she wants and be free of petty fights, but Joan Rivers is here to remind uppity young things that they cannot just insult Fashion Police and expect to get away with it.

To recap: J. Law said this about Rivers’s beloved child, Fashion Police: ”There are shows like the Fashion Police that are just showing these generations of young people to judge people based on all the wrong values and that it’s OK to point at people and call them ugly or fat.

Rivers, who actually already commented on that comment, made yet another comment about Lawrence to the New York Post: “I love that she’s telling everyone how wrong it is to worry about retouching and body image, and meanwhile, she has been touched up more than a choir boy at the Vatican. Look at her posters. She doesn’t have a nose, she has two holes. She just has to learn, don’t talk if you’re doing it.”

Then, throwing her fist into the night air, Rivers uttered a curse that ensures this “feud” will continue — at least into 2014: My New Year’s resolution is [ensuring] Jennifer Lawrence grows up and realizes how lucky she is and calms down.”

Like the Hatfields and the McCoys, the Lawrences and the Riverses will wage bloody battle for the next century.

Joan Rivers Resolves to Fight J. Law in 2014