Last night, in the sea of predictable, tuxedo-clad eye candy (Leo, Armani tux, hubba-hubba, yawn), there were a few wild cards that deserved special attention: all those man-ponys and longer-than-usual, disheveled (artfully or otherwise) manes that made me realize: I have a thing for men with long hair.
Man-hair has always been my thing. Like Ke$ha, I love a beard — I can’t say no to a well-groomed mustache — but now that the New York Times is touting scruffy beards as part of the establishment, I need a new frontier of wild, hirsute manliness (Fassbender, your beard is still alright by me).
When I see a flowing man-mane, even Jared Leto’s pristine, ombré bun, I can’t help but think of an unhinged, but still erotic, Healthcliff, roaming the moors. I want that hair as a blanket, both for security and sensuality. I want it all over me.
Leto's well-groomed, shiny bun made his eyes look even bluer and his jawline chiseled enough to be on display at a museum of classical fine art. Joaquin Phoenix's curly, salt-and-pepper mini-ponytail recalled all the men I'd ever pretended to love tofu for. But the award for sexiest, messiest hair goes to Alex Ebert, who stormed the stage to accept his Golden Globe for best original score looking like he was one showerless day away from dreadlocks. That tangle makes me think he'd have weird, intense sex in a yurt, and then nurse a baby bird back to health while eating homemade flaxseed scones. Delicious. But he’d also be cool with hanging out on Diddy’s boat after a Hollywood awards show followed by more weird sex, maybe again in a yurt, this time on a private island.
Click through the slideshow for the long and short of messy man-hair, from hippie Burning Man to locks that have been tousled by a model.
Most Viewed Stories
Why the Casey Affleck Sexual-Harassment Allegations Just Won’t Stick
The Best, Worst, and Most Headbanded Looks of the 2017 Oscars
Everyone Realized All at Once That Was Mel Gibson’s Girlfriend, Not His Daughter
Nicole Kidman Does Not Know How to Clap
How Christian Siriano Is Changing the Red Carpet
Meryl Streep Issues Scathing Response to Karl Lagerfeld’s Oscar Dress Comments [UPDATED]
That Jimmy Kimmel Joke About Weight in Hollywood Sounds Kind of Familiar
The Best and Weirdest Oscars Beauty Looks
Casey Affleck Wins Again
The Young Professional Whose Mom Paid for Her Breast Augmentation
The Cut’s Latest Fashion FeaturesCiara's Wedding Dress Was Too Big for the Chapel
To be fair, it was a 13 foot-long dress.You and Rihanna Will Both Want to Invest in Dior’s New Bag
It's got something for everyone.Polo Shirts Have Turned Their Back on Ryan Lochte
Along with his other major sponsors.Ryan Lochte Will No Longer Be Paid to Wear Tiny Bathing Suits
Speedo remains committed to transparency.Laura Brown Is the New Editor-in-Chief of InStyle
After 11 years at Harper’s Bazaar.Tyra Banks Is Going to Teach a Class on Smizing at Stanford
"If I see somebody not paying attention, I’m gonna call on them."This Floating Pier Is the Most Zen Installation Ever
Walking on water in Italy.Nation Is Appalled by Matt Lauer’s Nude Ankles During Ryan Lochte Interview
What’s the opposite of “Jeah”?8 People at the Life of Pablo Pop-up Explain Why Kanye West Is a God
"I mean, Kanye West is just Kanye West. There's not more or less you can say about Kanye West. He's just Mr. West!"A T-shirt Is Enough
Simplicity, versatility, and cool. What more could you want?
She took a perfect pencil dive off a 30-foot yacht.American Apparel Is Being Sued by Former Workers
As the company considers putting itself up for sale.A Gendered History of the Tailored Suit
From Marlon Brando to Coco Chanel.How Zendaya Developed Such Great Style at the Young Age of 19
The star's best looks from Disney to now.Proof That If You’re Chic Enough, a Little Federal Investigation Doesn’t Matter
Is this the best they could do?5,300-Year-Old Mummified Iceman Probably Would’ve Been a Street-Style Star
He had several different looks and was “pretty picky.”J.Crew Has Identified 226 Shades of Pink
Even more than there are shades of gray.Gigi and Bella Hadid Merch Is Now Somehow a Thing That Is Happening
Today in Hadidiana.Gird Your Loins for the Return of Yeezy to New York Fashion Week
The season approaches.This Indie Brand Had a Great Response to Ivanka Trump
When she bought one of their cuffs, they donated the proceeds to the Clinton campaign.