Study: ‘Katie’ and ‘David’ Make the Best Spouses

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A reputable source of scientific study, Siteopia.com, polled 2,000 people on the first names they associated with being a good spouse — "based on their experiences with their own partners as well as those of friends, relatives and colleagues," as the Telegraph puts it. Of all the names in the world, people think the best wives are named Katie, Sophie, Louise, Sarah, Emily, Charlotte, Elizabeth, Amy, Jessica, and Lucy. The kinds of guys you can take home to Mom are named David, Andrew, Daniel, Paul, John, William, Simon, James, Chris, and Stephen, because apparently, they make the best husbands.

This list is like a roster of contestants on ABC's The Bachelor. Where's the imagination, people? I bet a Vesta or a Wolf could also provide a loving, supportive, long-term partnership that would blossom into old age.

A theory: The "keep it simple, stupid" logic of the imaginary boyfriend is at play. When asked to conjure a fantasy husband or a fake boyfriend, the mind goes for safe and familiar rather than unique, so as not to arouse suspicion — i.e., "Daniel," your sixth-grade boyfriend whom you "met" at summer camp and totally "made out with," who "sent you love letters" (forged by your mom) until December.