Queen Orders Kate Middleton to Cover Her Knees

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge arrives at Clifford Chance to attend the Place2Be Forum at Canary Wharf on November 20, 2013 in London, England. Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Kate Middleton is getting a regal makeover at the hands of her grandmother-in-law. According to Mail royals columnist Katie Nicholl, the duchess will “deploy a couture wardrobe of day dresses with lower hemlines than she has previously favoured” on an upcoming trip to Australia, including custom designs from Alexander McQueen and Alice Temperley. To aid in Kate’s un-harloting, the queen has lent the duchess “the services of her most trusted member of staff, her personal dresser Angela Kelly.” Kelly is said to be hard at work selecting jewels from the queen’s personal collection that will highlight the new, dowdier, wardrobe-malfunction-proof duchess, while Kate’s personal hairdresser, Amanda Cook (who will join her in Australia), gets a crash course in tiara attachment. All of which seems calculated to undo Middleton’s High Street vibe and show that ex-colony what it’s missing out on.