From What Would You Like to Consciously Uncouple?

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Gwyneth Paltrow attends Gene Siskel Film Center Gala Honoring Gwyneth Paltrow on June 15, 2013 in Chicago, Illinois.
Gwyneth Paltrow attends Gene Siskel Film Center Gala Honoring Gwyneth Paltrow on June 15, 2013 in Chicago, Illinois. Photo: Jeff Schear/WireImage

Just hours ago, Gwyneth Paltrow announced that she and Chris Martin would be divorcing — nay, separating — nay, consciously uncoupling. Yes, that sounds about right. It's the Gwyneth way to no longer be married. From what would you like to uncouple, in a conscious manner? Snow boots? Quinoa? Ryan Gosling as a crush object?

- Wool sweaters.

- Crop tops.

- Thigh gap.

- Kale.

- Organic sex toys.

- Kimye coverage.

- Facebook.

- Butt selfies.

- Group selfies.

- Bodega coffee.

- Mirror face.

- Murray Hill bros.

- Upper-knuckle rings.

- Running five minutes late.

Men in flip-flops.

You go your way, I'll go mine. Join us in separation.