Are Laura Prepon and Tom Cruise Secretly Dating?

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Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images, Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Another installment in the ever-fascinating, ever-disconcerting tabloid love life of Tom Cruise: An unnamed source tells "Page Six" he's dating Orange Is the New Black actress Laura Prepon.

According to the source, this has all been percolating for about a year, ever since the 51-year-old picked Prepon up in a vintage car with a bottle of vintage Merlot and took her to a three-hour lunch at the Manor Hotel. Then he reportedly took her to a party at John Travolta’s home — the highest honor in a Scientologist’s courtship.

Unlike previous objects of Cruise-courtship Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman, Prepon is already a practicing Scientologist. Their union sounds like a match made on planet Xenu — which is also the only place where it makes any kind of sense.