Manolo Blahnik Makes Up Insane Backstories for His Shoes

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Photo: Jenny Anderson/Getty Images

So, we knew Manolo Blahnik liked shoes. He lives with tens of thousands of them, and refers to them as "members of an extended sexy family." But it looks like his adorable level of mania is approaching certifiably-bonkers territory. While sketching design ideas, the maestro tells Colin McDowell from the Business of Fashion:

She is from Dar es Salaam and she has left her husband who beats her, and is now on the way to the station where she will get onto the train that will bring her to her lover’s arms and freedom.

He really knows how to paint a picture. Of a wedge heel, he says,

This is for a woman from Rio. So Carmen Miranda! Very passionate, a little vulgar, but always laughing and ready for fun. She loves the raffia roses on the heels. They make her feel free to spend all of her husband’s money … This is borderline Liz Taylor on a bad day … This woman is a little prim — like Edinburgh … This sandal is for a beautiful Italian girl …

So many questions arise. Is the city of Edinburgh known for its primness? What, exactly, qualifies as "Liz Taylor on a bad day"? And Manolo, can we come over for storytime soon?