There comes a time when a supermodel must decide to transition from just Model to Model/Musician or Model/Actress. Kate Moss had her BabyShambles moment and this Paul McCartney video, and now Gisele has this 90-second video of her covering Blondie's "Heart of Glass."
But in her version of the classic song, she just kind of pants and sprechgesangs over some heavy house music while hip-swerving on a beach. There's still something to learn here, though, folks: While she might lack the vocal prowess to go full rock star, she can still teach us a thing or two about how to pose like one:
1. Don bikini and swivel hips in front of an illogically placed wall of speakers to indicate that you are not a model right now, but a singer who sings.
2. Whip hair back and forth to convey emotion without changing facial expressions.
3. Borrow the horses from Kanye's "Bound 2" video.
4. Explode into color and then fade to black-and-white to convey sexy, rapid mood swings.
4. Do surreptitious BIBO check. Because nobody can tell you're armpit-sniffing when you're wearing a fedora.
5. Show more footage of Kanye's Lisa Frank horses running dramatically through the surf.
5. Lip-synch both prettily and convincingly while seductively rubbing the microphone.
6. Aaand, scene.
Most Viewed Stories
This Conspiracy Theory Will Change How You Feel About the Bachelor Villain
The Ultimate Guide to Preparing for the Women’s March
The Sheer Perfection of Donald Trump’s Golden Shower
15 Protest Sign Ideas for the Women’s March on Washington
Connecticut Politician Arrested for Pinching Woman’s Genitals
Pakistani Pop Star Stops Concert When He Spots Sexual Harassment
Hairstylist Says She Was Asked to Do Marla Maples’s and Tiffany Trump’s Inauguration Day Hair for Free
The Obamas Visited Malia and Sasha’s Old Swing Set at Its New Home at a D.C. Shelter
How to Live in a 150-Square-Foot Studio
Ask a Boss: How Do I Quit the Job I’ve Had Forever?
From Our Partners
powered by PubExchange
The Cut’s Latest Fashion FeaturesCiara's Wedding Dress Was Too Big for the Chapel
To be fair, it was a 13 foot-long dress.You and Rihanna Will Both Want to Invest in Dior’s New Bag
It's got something for everyone.Polo Shirts Have Turned Their Back on Ryan Lochte
Along with his other major sponsors.Ryan Lochte Will No Longer Be Paid to Wear Tiny Bathing Suits
Speedo remains committed to transparency.Laura Brown Is the New Editor-in-Chief of InStyle
After 11 years at Harper’s Bazaar.Tyra Banks Is Going to Teach a Class on Smizing at Stanford
"If I see somebody not paying attention, I’m gonna call on them."This Floating Pier Is the Most Zen Installation Ever
Walking on water in Italy.Nation Is Appalled by Matt Lauer’s Nude Ankles During Ryan Lochte Interview
What’s the opposite of “Jeah”?8 People at the Life of Pablo Pop-up Explain Why Kanye West Is a God
"I mean, Kanye West is just Kanye West. There's not more or less you can say about Kanye West. He's just Mr. West!"A T-shirt Is Enough
Simplicity, versatility, and cool. What more could you want?
She took a perfect pencil dive off a 30-foot yacht.American Apparel Is Being Sued by Former Workers
As the company considers putting itself up for sale.A Gendered History of the Tailored Suit
From Marlon Brando to Coco Chanel.How Zendaya Developed Such Great Style at the Young Age of 19
The star's best looks from Disney to now.Proof That If You’re Chic Enough, a Little Federal Investigation Doesn’t Matter
Is this the best they could do?5,300-Year-Old Mummified Iceman Probably Would’ve Been a Street-Style Star
He had several different looks and was “pretty picky.”J.Crew Has Identified 226 Shades of Pink
Even more than there are shades of gray.Gigi and Bella Hadid Merch Is Now Somehow a Thing That Is Happening
Today in Hadidiana.Gird Your Loins for the Return of Yeezy to New York Fashion Week
The season approaches.This Indie Brand Had a Great Response to Ivanka Trump
When she bought one of their cuffs, they donated the proceeds to the Clinton campaign.