Potential Suitors to Fill the Cressida Bonas-Shaped Hole in Your Heart

Cressida Bonas (R), Price Harry's girlfrend, attends day 3 of the 2013 Glastonbury Festival at Worthy Farm on June 29, 2013 in Glastonbury, England.
Cressida Bonas (R), Price Harry's girlfrend, attends day 3 of the 2013 Glastonbury Festival at Worthy Farm on June 29, 2013 in Glastonbury, England. Photo: Danny Martindale/WireImage

Yesterday, a striking beam of pain hit the hearts of the world, when Prince Harry and Cressida Bonas made a personal decision within their coupledom not to date anymore. Cressida, from the glimmers one could patch together, seemed like a blithe pinwheel. There was a pleasant cognitive dissonance that came with imagining denim overalls among the stodgy drapes and chinaware of Buckingham Palace. A loss of this Royal wonderment has passed, but in an attempt to fill the Cressida-gap in our lives, here is a short list of potential suitors for Prince Harry, sorted by wonderful Cressida-like qualities. 

A fantastic, British, J.K. Rowling-imagined name: This is a tense tie between Imogen Poots and Suki Waterhouse.

An unfettered free spirit: Shailene Woodley, who is America's representative hippie, is the obvious choice.

 Shailene Woodley attends the Marie Claire & The Cinema Society screening of Summit Entertainment's "Divergent" after party at The Wayfarer on March 20, 2014 in New York City.
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images

An affection for overalls: Keira Knightley, who talks about them at length, and calls them dungarees.

A British It-Girl Poshness: Emilia Clarke, who ranks on the Tatler list just above Bonas, or perhaps Agyness Deyn

A history of attending festivals and looking happy: Chloe Nørgaard was the walking and talking version of Coachella at Coachella this year.

Photo: Angela Pham/BFAnyc.com/BFA

An affinity for using book titles as coded signals: Emma Roberts, who posts her reading list to her Instagram, with frequency. 

The likelihood to wear scrunchies: any of the women featured in this catalogue, though we might highlight Ms. Clinton

US Secretary Of State Hillary Clinton (L) listens to Portugal's former president and UN High Representative Jorge Sampaio as they take part in the Community Of Democracies ministerial conference in Vilnius on July 1, 2011. The Community of Democracies, an informal grouping of more than a hundred countries set up in 2000 to help cement freedoms worldwide, kicked off a two-day conference in the Baltic state of Lithuania yesterday.  AFP PHOTO / PETRAS MALUKAS (Photo credit should read PETRAS MALUKAS/AFP/Getty Images)
Photo: PETRAS MALUKAS/AFP/Getty Images

A charming, fame-shy quality: the famous fame-avoider, you are a fascinating breed! Emma Watson walks that line well. 

Girl-surfer-like flaxen hair and excellently shaped English eyebrows: Este Haim for the former, Cara Delevigne for the latter.

Singer/bassist Este Haim of Haim performs during the Life is Beautiful festival on October 27, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images

The ability to look convincingly bored: Kristen Stewart, but of course. 

In sum: This list is actually just an ode to the irreplaceable Cressida Bonas, for combining all of these features is a wonder and a delight. Cressida, we hardly knew ye. Meanwhile, she has moved on and is ordering all the colorful beverages in London (an orange juice yesterday and today, a cup which runneth over of pink stuff).