Bachelor Party Does a Useful Thing, Discovers Prehistoric Animal Skull

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A bachelor party, taking a nice camping trip, made a profound discovery last Monday. No, it wasn’t that they were all experiencing the same not-super-weird-but-definitely-uncomfortable sex dream. They discovered a real thing: Fossilized tusks poking out from the beach at Elephant Butte Lake in New Mexico. It was the skull of a prehistoric beast that had died 3 million years earlier. 

Prehistoric: like our main man’s dating game, right? Beast: like our party attitude at this solid bachelor trip, now with an impromptu-archaeology theme. Three million years! Hehheh, like the amount of time it will be before this dude gets to see another naked lady ever again! The jokes supplied were endless and hilarious. 

After posing for some rad pictures, one attendee contacted a friend at the New Mexico Museum of Natural History and Science, and archeologists descended on the site. They were wowed, because this was the most complete stegomastodon skull ever found in New Mexico, and also the most useful post-bachelor-party phone call anyone had every received in all of American history. As one enthusiastic bachelor-party guest, Antonio Gradillas, told ABC, the discovery was “the coolest thing ever.”