Here's a new song of summer, courtesy of a chanteuse named Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 From the Planet Glamtron. The season-five runner-up on RuPaul's Drag Race debuted an extremely catchy song on YouTube called "Your Makeup Is Terrible." (It could also be thought of as the anthem to this piece.) A sampling of the lyrics, set to an electronica beat:
Greetings, earthlings — my name is Alaska Thunderfuck 5000, from the Planet Glamtron.
Now I've come a long way to be here tonight, so let's get our greetings and salutations in order, shall we?
Ooooh, I don't know about you, Miss Kitty but now I feel so much yummier
Now there's an issue that has recently come to my attention that I need to discuss right now
Is that okay with you, honey?
You, are you ready?
Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you readyyyyyyy?
Your makeup is terrible. Your makeup is terrible. Your makeup is terrible.
But I love you anyway.
Terrible. Terrible. Terrible.
Watch the video and repeat the words silently to yourself the next time your well-meaning friend says she wants to contour like Kim Kardashian.