Man Creates Video-Game Bedroom, Kills Sex Life

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Photo: Splash News

Every manchild (and actual child) is probably jealous of Chris Kooluris, the grown man who turned his entire bedroom into a video arcade. But, men, before you start upping those eBay bids on perfectly restored Tron games, beware: This fantasy eventually turned into a nerd’s sexless cautionary tale.

Kooluris's fiancée ended their engagement about four months after he started transforming his Murray Hill bachelor pad into an arcade. “If you come home every night and want to talk to your girlfriend about arcade or pinball machines, that relationship is going to end really fast,” he told Wired.

Still, it kind of does sound awesome. Pac-Man! Gumballs! But imagine the following scenario: You meet a man, go back to his Murray Hill apartment, stand awkwardly while he pulls out the convertible sofa-bed with a Ninja Turtles bedding set, and then make love in the soft blue light of his countless classic arcade games. As his ex said upon seeing the finished product: “Well, at least I don’t need to worry that this room will ever get another woman wet.”

But, perhaps, for every pot a lid. As one Cut staffer said, “I might still fuck him if he had Skee-Ball.”