‘Brooklyn Girls’ Is the Anthem Nobody Wanted

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The women of Brooklyn now have their own anthem in the spirit of Katy Perry’s “California Gurls”: Musician Catey Shaw has penned "Brooklyn Girls," an aggressively poppy pop song meant to capture the zeitgeist of the borough, which according to this video seems to mean blue-tipped hair and rompers and hanging out in Bushwick.

Shaw has a good instinct — every type of girl needs their own belt-along anthem (this is why we have Beyoncé), but after two minutes of this video, I honestly can’t tell which is bleeding more, my eyes or my ears. Though not a song of the summer contender, we predict “Brooklyn Girls” will be a huge hit among suburban teenage girls and people who have never been to Brooklyn except that one time they took an Uber there after reading Vogues guide to Williamsburg.