Sensitive Soul Chris Martin Only Eats Animals He Senses He Could Murder

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Photo: Michael Buckner/Getty Images

Chris Martin — he of newborn-lamb face and pillow-fluff heart — follows the meat-eating rule of murder. He explains to BBC Radio:

I felt like you should only eat something that you would be able to kill. I don’t know why on earth I’m talking about this — I got to stop talking; this will be some kind of headline. Could you kill a fish? I wouldn’t like it, but I probably could, so I’ll eat the fish … A giraffe?   

Is Chris Martin just thinking all day about how much he wants that good giraffe meat, but holding out because of his perceived inability to murder a 20-foot-tall quadruped? Oh certainly, certainly, certainly, he is.