Sensitive Soul Chris Martin Only Eats Animals He Senses He Could Murder

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LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 26:  Owner of Warner Music Group Len Blavatnik and musician Chris Martin of Coldplay attend the Warner Music Group annual GRAMMY celebration on January 26, 2014 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images for Warner Bros.)
Photo: Michael Buckner/Getty Images

Chris Martin — he of newborn-lamb face and pillow-fluff heart — follows the meat-eating rule of murder. He explains to BBC Radio:

I felt like you should only eat something that you would be able to kill. I don’t know why on earth I’m talking about this — I got to stop talking; this will be some kind of headline. Could you kill a fish? I wouldn’t like it, but I probably could, so I’ll eat the fish … A giraffe?   

Is Chris Martin just thinking all day about how much he wants that good giraffe meat, but holding out because of his perceived inability to murder a 20-foot-tall quadruped? Oh certainly, certainly, certainly, he is.