Gwyneth Paltrow’s Divorce Is Better Than Most Marriages

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JANUARY 11:  Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin attend the 3rd annual Sean Penn & Friends HELP HAITI HOME Gala benefiting J/P HRO presented by Giorgio Armani at Montage Beverly Hills on January 11, 2014 in Beverly Hills, California.  (Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for J/P Haitian Relief Organization)
Photo: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

The official Goop Guide to Divorce is becoming increasingly enjoyable to follow. After adopting a personal New Age term for your separation and coining the nation's favorite joke of March 2014, head to the islands! Enjoy that Bahamian surf and each other's no-longer-obligatory company. Follow this with supportive solidarity and a good milkshake. When summer arrives, enjoy a nice trip to the Hamptons. Dig your heels into the sand and confuse passersby with the way that you are "operating like a couple" and looking "like a happy family." Know that regular, happy families have trouble doing that and be quite pleased with the unattainable and beautiful success of your Goop-approved divorce.