How to Commit a Felony Using Nothing But Mascara

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A Missouri teenager was charged with first-degree property damage, a felony, after smearing mascara on the windows and mirrors of a car at the Chesterfield Jewish Community Center. “The way it was parked made her angry,” police said in court documents, according to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. The white Infinity's owner said the young woman scratched the windshield and driver’s-side window in the process — causing $3,000 in damage — and left a note. “How about you park your car like a normal person,” it said. “Also, left you some presents in your gay car!” For more evidence of the teen vandal's mascara skills, click through her mugshot, which features a single, perfect, black Lauren Conrad tear.