Paris Hilton Uses Her Wealth for Good, Creates a Unicorn

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Photo: Courtesy of E!

Human rhinestone Paris Hilton has bestowed another gift upon our undeserving, beige world. She has presented, to us, a unicorn.

She tells the tale of her hero's journey to E!: 

This is for my new single 'Come Alive' and it's a beautiful love song that I wrote. It's all about love and how it makes you feel alive. So when I was coming up with the concept for the music video, I wanted it to be something that was very magical, ethereal, just very fantasy like, that's why I wanted to have a unicorn in it because I just think they're such beautiful, magical creatures.

Not mentioned by Hilton is that while many, many people have yearned for a unicorn, these mounts are not easily acquired at all. In fact, no person has ever acquired a unicorn before.

On what shimmering shores, in what kelp bed of Swarovski seaweed, did Paris Hilton locate this mystical dream-beast? From what crystal cave did Paris woo the filly to her side? Or did Paris Hilton, genetic-genius scientist of our time, create this unicorn herself? What a modest and remarkable woman. This earth is lucky to have her.