Just Take a Selfie, You Bridge-Destroying Monsters

PARIS, FRANCE - FEBRUARY 14:  A couple take a selfie on The Pont Des Arts which is covered with roses to celebrate Valentine's Day on February 14, 2014 in Paris, France. The accumulation of the 'love locks', a phenomenon popular in many European cities, where couples attach a lock to symbolise their love to the mesh panels on the sides of the bridge, is starting to pose safety concerns, due to their mass weight.  (Photo by Chesnot/Getty Images)
Photo: Chesnot/Getty Images

After the weight of tourists’ love (expressed in the form of locks fastened to a guardrail) caused a bridge collapse in June, Parisian authorities have attempted a cease-and-desist campaign. No more fastening cheap locks to bridges to represent the unbreakable bounds of your love or the crossing between your souls or whatever cheesy nonsense brought you here. 

If you must commemorate your love, how about this, suggests Paris: Just zip your faces together and gaze up at your cellular telephone and take a photograph of yourselves. Try to be content with ephemera for once in your lives, you bridge-ruining savages.