No One Back-to-School Shops Anymore, Nerd

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Humanity’s most fickle subset, the teens, finally ruled on a highly questionable trend: back-to-school shopping. It doesn’t look good. Back to school shopping has just been getting a little weird over the past few years. This summer didn’t help. The teens have no plans to include back-to-school shopping in any upcoming activities. They’re not going to be rude to back-to-school shopping or anything, but it would just be better if they didn’t see each other.

The New York Times reports on this rift, noting that retailers have noticed teens' aloof, icy distance from back-to-school shopping. Even if they do participate, analysts say, they’re not going to take it seriously or be in any rush about it and it's obvious their hearts aren't in it. Some teens are even shopping for back-to-school clothes well into the school year. There's no one who can actively exude indifference like a teen. 

The latest reports indicate that "back-to-school shopping" has only been mentioned by mothers of the nation's teens in conjunction with repeated requests to explain what a belly-chain is and what a midi-ring is and should they be concerned.