People Who Actually Use Barns Hate Your Barn Weddings

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Photo: TriggerPhoto/Getty Images

American couples of marrying age have deeply absorbed Pinterest lessons about weddings, subcategory: destination countryside. The creative couple can make hay bales into rustic seating arrangements. They learned there is not one, but rather 289,389 uses for a Mason jar. Twine and twigs can decorate their special day with carefully glued charm. But do you know what these modern lovers want to repurpose the most for their nuptials? A good, old-fashioned rustic and rural barn.

However, the people who live proximate to “wedding barns" say that life during wedding season is hell on this earth. Julie Bosman at the New York Times spoke to a few wonderful curmudgeons on the matter. A woman who lives next door to a wedding barn in Iowa says: "They blare music all night long, they have college students out there screaming, and everyone’s drinking." A man who resides by a Minnesota wedding barn asks: "So do I want a band cranking music out of that building several times a week? No, I do not." Another man who lives next door to a Michigan wedding barn wonders if these barn-seekers are dooming themselves with their rural wedding theme:

All these people want to have this rustic outdoor wedding in the country so they can get closer to nature, but that barn was built for storing hay … It’s not designed to have 200 people jumping up and down and dancing in it.

You can always keep your fingers crossed that some sounds of ancient floorboards settling will scare the merry-makers away from renovated hay-storage-facilities for good. Until then, if you can't beat 'em, just put up faulty Pinterest instructions on how use wooden barrels as useful transportation from the ceremony to the reception.