The scrum outside Jeremy Scott's show on Wednesday afternoon spilled well into the street, as paparazzi and plebes alike jostled their way toward a clear shot at the door in the hope that Miley Cyrus's car would pull up and they'd get a glimpse of Our Lady of the Tongue. She was launching her Dirty Hippie line of accessories for Scott, and no doubt would be on hand to admire them. A few enterprising individuals used this as an excuse to make their own grand entrances, including a girl in a yellow catsuit, a gigantic wig, and a visor who clearly hoped people would mistake her for Nicki Minaj. But alas, even Nicki Minaj no longer wants to be mistaken for that incarnation of Nicki Minaj, so all the woman got were some whispered comparisons to V. Stiviano.
Inside the venue, we spied Whoopi Goldberg, Miley's clear sartorial soul mate. She had on baggy jeans, a white shirt, and a long black button-down/duster combo, with her best leopard-print Vans for the occasion. "I am too old to wear any of it," we heard her say of Scott's collection. "But I'm going to find some way to put some of it, somehow, on my body. Anything with SpongeBob on it. Even if it's just around my neck." Excellent. We look forward to this next season of The View being all about Whoopi's atypical use of cartoon pants.
The insanely tall rapper 2 Chainz came out next, wearing at least three, and seated not too far from Bella Thorne. Mr. Chainz did a pretty good job distracting everyone, but not even the gargantuan 2 could keep people from anxiously hovering near the mouth of the runway, waiting for Miley. And waiting. And waiting. It wasn't until organizers had mostly cleared the catwalk that she appeared, with mom Tish and sister Brandi in tow. Miley was decked out in a pastel-rainbow-colored sports bra and matching sarong-style pants and sported a cockeyed stub of a fascinator that looked like a 99-cent store had exploded on her scalp. We suspect this was of her own design, as all her Dirty Hippie accessories for the show were made with found objects that look like a toddler's reject bin — or, as Miley herself said, total fucking junk and shit (she does have a poetic way with words). She told V that designing this line was her way of ensuring a legacy beyond being "a pop pop dumb dumb," and a giant party hat made of things you can buy for one ticket at an arcade does nothing if not anoint her a sculptor par excellence. Miley Cyrus, out; Mileyangelo, welcome.
When Miley wriggled her way to her seat, Bella Thorne muscled in for a photo op, even sitting on Miley's lap while Miley's face looked several degrees below lukewarm about that state of affairs. We suspect that in the hierarchy of former Disney starlets, Miley is not the one who's supposed to serve as someone else's armchair. Miley eventually evicted Bella and settled in next to Stephen Gan for the show; when it ended, Scott grabbed Cyrus for his bow, and to loud applause, they did a full lap of the runway before disappearing backstage. When we finally got downstairs, the throng awaiting her was as pulsing as ever, even though she probably came in the back way and would likely leave that way, too. But if waiting for a glimpse of Miley crowned with Total Fucking Junk and Shit made them happy, well, let them have it. Because in truth, we find the whole thing extremely entertaining, and everyone knows that if Miley Cyrus goes subtle on us, the world may bounce off its axis.BEGIN SLIDESHOW
Most Viewed Stories
Taylor Swift Is Not Going to Be Happy About This New Friendship
Karl Lagerfeld Calls Out Meryl Streep for Canceling an Order for a Chanel Dress
Rereading The Handmaid’s Tale, One Month Into the Trump Era
Why Did Everyone Act Like I Was Crazy When I Decided to Have a Baby in My 20s?
Witches Are Planning to Hex Trump This Friday
Ask Polly: I Overshared My Way Out of a Boyfriend!
Excuse Me While I Lose My Mind Over These Vetements Shoes
13 Under-Eye Creams That Actually Work
What, Exactly, Are Melania and Ivanka Trump Trying to Sell?
You’ll Never Guess Who Has the Most Orgasms
The Cut’s Latest Fashion FeaturesCiara's Wedding Dress Was Too Big for the Chapel
To be fair, it was a 13 foot-long dress.You and Rihanna Will Both Want to Invest in Dior’s New Bag
It's got something for everyone.Polo Shirts Have Turned Their Back on Ryan Lochte
Along with his other major sponsors.Ryan Lochte Will No Longer Be Paid to Wear Tiny Bathing Suits
Speedo remains committed to transparency.Laura Brown Is the New Editor-in-Chief of InStyle
After 11 years at Harper’s Bazaar.Tyra Banks Is Going to Teach a Class on Smizing at Stanford
"If I see somebody not paying attention, I’m gonna call on them."This Floating Pier Is the Most Zen Installation Ever
Walking on water in Italy.Nation Is Appalled by Matt Lauer’s Nude Ankles During Ryan Lochte Interview
What’s the opposite of “Jeah”?8 People at the Life of Pablo Pop-up Explain Why Kanye West Is a God
"I mean, Kanye West is just Kanye West. There's not more or less you can say about Kanye West. He's just Mr. West!"A T-shirt Is Enough
Simplicity, versatility, and cool. What more could you want?
She took a perfect pencil dive off a 30-foot yacht.American Apparel Is Being Sued by Former Workers
As the company considers putting itself up for sale.A Gendered History of the Tailored Suit
From Marlon Brando to Coco Chanel.How Zendaya Developed Such Great Style at the Young Age of 19
The star's best looks from Disney to now.Proof That If You’re Chic Enough, a Little Federal Investigation Doesn’t Matter
Is this the best they could do?5,300-Year-Old Mummified Iceman Probably Would’ve Been a Street-Style Star
He had several different looks and was “pretty picky.”J.Crew Has Identified 226 Shades of Pink
Even more than there are shades of gray.Gigi and Bella Hadid Merch Is Now Somehow a Thing That Is Happening
Today in Hadidiana.Gird Your Loins for the Return of Yeezy to New York Fashion Week
The season approaches.This Indie Brand Had a Great Response to Ivanka Trump
When she bought one of their cuffs, they donated the proceeds to the Clinton campaign.