Jennifer Garner Is But a Simple Goat Herder


Today in dispatches from the Los Angeles farming life, sovereign of her domain Jennifer Garner solves a query about what you do when your ivy has gotten sheerly out of hand and those pesky city varmints (rats) are running wild in the chaos.

You simply do as any logic-minded person might and you find yourself some goats; 120 will do. Once they're all gathered up, you run them in the general direction the ivy. They will scamper. Then they are free to munch as they please. The ivy will be destroyed and the vexatious rodents will scurry off to other locales. Do not concern yourself with their fate. You are now a goat herder and you have other worries, like rectangular goat pupils, to consider.