bro-tox

Men Invent Cute Name to Claim Botox for Themselves

Photo: Kay Blaschke

According to a man at men’s magazine GQ, “we are in the very early days of the Era of Unapologetic Male Beauty.” Unapologetic as it might be, this foray should be renamed to suit its strapping new population. Something like Bro-Tox, or perhaps something a little less — oh, Bro-Tox works? Great. Let’s call it “the Age of Bro-Tox.” Wonderful.

Reporting from the front lines of the Bro-Tox Era is Josh Dean. Dean has helpfully outlined a handful of procedures suitable for arming men against aging, like freezing belly fat right off that belly or clearing spotty skin with hot, painful “intense pulsed light” (IPL).

Yes, women have paved this path to the fountain of youth, allowing men the freedom to dance through the cleared brush fancy-free. And women continue to make sacrifices as leaders. When Dean expressed shock that some women get IPL on their whole bodies, the doctor replied, “I don’t want to make a sweeping generalization, but I think with women, especially those who’ve had babies, they have a different perspective on what’s painful.”

So, in the three-way race between men, women, and Father Time + Mother Earth (their ankles are tied together, three-legged-race style, so they are really one person), men are still bringing up the saggy rear. 

Men Invent Cute Name to Justify Botox