Sorry, Freud: Vaginal Orgasms Might Not Exist

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A new study wants to put the myth of the exalted vaginal orgasm to bed. The paper, published in the forthcoming issue of Clinical Anatomy, suggests that there is no anatomical structure in a vagina that could cause an orgasm; therefore, the idea that women can get off from vaginal penetration alone or that the vaginal orgasm is somehow superior is a big fat lie, according to the authors. Their findings also suggest that the G-spot is about as real as Narnia.

The authors, Vincenzo and Giulia Puppo, emphatically praise the clitoris (or female penis, as it’s referred to in this study) as the origin of all female orgasms, and provide an exhaustive flow-chart of all the different combinations of non-penetrative sex acts that can achieve both female orgasm, a sustained orgasmic state, or something called a super orgasmic state — which sounds far better than a boring old “vaginal orgasm," am I right?

They've also suggested — and truly, this should blow minds — that sex doesn’t have to end when a man ejaculates. In fact, these scientists say, he can continue giving a woman orgasms even after he’s had one. “Touching and kissing can be continued almost indefinitely, and noncoital sexual acts after male ejaculation can be used to produce orgasm in women," quoth Drs. Puppo.

I mean, we can't argue with science! Dr. Puppo and Dr. Puppo, I see a Nobel in your future.