Hat's off to Robert Pattinson, perennial baseball-cap lover, who gave us something new to talk about today other than butts. He's finally unveiled what we had previously called a cool-kid haircut. But we were wrong. Very, very wrong. Because his cut is neither cool nor Skrillex nor rat tail but some very weird hybrid of bowl-cut-meets-bikini-waxing-patterns. What kind of solace does this weirdly precise rectangular landing strip provide this former teen vampyre? And what do we call this weird haircut amalgamation? Below, the Cut speculates.
Allison Davis, Writer: Oh my God, that's what he has been hiding under his hat?
Maggie Lange, Writer: WHAT?!? What bet did he lose?
Allison: Is it supposed to be an exclamation point?
Kathleen Hou, Beauty Editor: It's a landing strip for the nape of his neck.
Allison: It's a skull patch?
Kathleen: It's "party in the front, disturbed in the back."
Ashley Weatherford, Beauty Editor: It's a slender goatee on the wrong side of his head.
Maggie: Maybe he's trying to "Battle of Bighorn" some lice.
Véronique Hyland, Editor: Maybe it's ... alopecia? Not to alopecia-shame Robert Pattinson; that is not how I want to start my day. NAMASTE.