I Want to Live in a World Where Ariana Grande Gets Carried Like a Tiny Baby

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Photo: Mike Pont/Getty Images

There's a glorious rumor about Ariana Grande making the rounds. Dubious "reports" from InTouch suggest that Ariana Grande, known biped, requests her staff carry her around like a tiny little baby. No walking here, folks; "Infant in arms" is the new power position.

Earlier today, Ariana "Yes, I'm Ambulatory" Grande denied the claim, and while I was prepared to remain ensconced in the comfort of my delusion, Jezebel has unearthed photo evidence of Ariana Grande being transported without her Uggs ever touching the rain-soaked concrete, without her calves ever feeling the slight burn of walking across a parking lot at a nice clip. 

Don't get too excited; it is just an isolated incident. But who knows what might surface in the coming days. Please, let this stunning claim prove to be the gospel truth.

You know who else was carried by her subjects? Cleopatra, you guys. Cleopatra.