Guys, Drake Wants to Date a Writer

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Photo: champagnepapi/Instagram, David Becker/Getty Images

Everyone, pay attention, calm yourselves, line up in a reasonable fashion, and manage your expectations: Drake wants to fall in love with a writer. Or rather, he’s open to the possibility of romantic entanglements with a writer. Or rather, he understands the side benefits of loving a writer. Whatever, guys; basically, he's angling hard for your literary attention.

For evidence: Drake re-posted a common Tumblr platitude (*If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die*) from the Instagram account of young Canadian singer Mustafa the Poet. Drake knows that writers have a thing for layers and narrative voices. He really gets it and he has offered himself as material.

He lives for the immortality that will come from you lovingly describing his knitwear. He will heed no warnings. He's ready to be your muse. He wants to be your patron of the arts, your inspiration, your main character, your dramatic arc. Just let him live forever, won't you?