Think about the days — nay, weeks — after New Year's Eve, when you're still picking glitter out of every crevice of your body. Now, imagine if that sparkly hell-substance coated every possession you own: your furniture, your rug, your cat. Horrible!
To the uninitiated, glitter seems made of pure joy, but a new start-up, Ship Your Enemies Glitter, has harnessed its more diabolical properties. For about $8, the company will send your mortal enemy an envelope jam-packed with "the herpes of the craft world," ready to explode upon opening. It will also include a note explaining what the recipient did to deserve this.
Truly evil. However, if your mortal enemy is Kesha, you might need a plan B.