Is This 2015’s Most Alarming Euphemism for a Vagina?

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It is the curious work of poetry and art and emoji to reveal meaning by obscuring meaning. It’s a strange realm where cigars are not cigars, except when sometimes they are. 

On her own artistic journey to truth in the lyrical format, Miranda Lambert has created a song about rebuffing an interested suitor. She asks her admirer, “Guess what?” What, Miranda, tell us! Oh, she does. She tells us what. “You can’t ride in my little red wagon,” she sings. Message received. Although, to clarify, by little red wagon, do you mean … could you mean? What else could you mean? So … that’s it. There it is, the most disconcerting euphemism for a vagina: a little red wagon.