When Is a Penis Too Good to Break Up With?

By
Photo: Archive Holdings Inc./Getty Images

On occasion, the universe will grant you a penis (or a sexual encounter) so mind-melting you simply cannot envision life without it. It turns out there’s a phrase for this experience, one immortalized in a catchy song (that I can’t believe I’m just hearing for the first time): D2B, which stands for Dick Too Bomb, and originates from Problem’s 2012 album, Welcome to Mollywood. In the intro, a female rapper, the Homegirl, laments in a back-and-forth with her friend, “Girl what’s wrong?” / “My man ain't shit.” / “Why you ain’t leave him? / “Cuz, bitch, dick too bomb.”

D2B refers to a penis so large, magnificent, and capable of pleasing you sexually that it blows your decision-making skills to smithereens and holds you under its spell like the leader of a cult. The term playfully objectifies male genitals (divorced from the men to whom they belong), and yet acknowledges that sometimes people lose their minds from sex and it's potentially disastrous. For those who are new to this phrase, we’ve pulled together a quick explainer.

FAQs about D2B:

How can I use this term in everyday speech?
We suggest the simple Dick Too Bomb and Dick 2 Bomb, or the shorthands DTB/D2B. For emoji, try eggplant, peace-sign fingers, bomb. Example: “Olivia Pope needs to break up with Fitz and Jake, but dick too bomb.”

The song is old. If I use this term, am I just belatedly appropriating it?
Yes, to some extent. The song is a few years old. Teens have been using it extensively on social media: #dicktoobomb is a commonly deployed Twitter hashtag, and teens are really into lip-syncing the song using dubsmash videos that they post to Vine. (Further investigation is needed to determine if a teen can truly grasp the concept, but we might address that in a follow-up report.) However, the sentiment is evergreen and timeless. Someone’s dick will always be too bomb, and it really is a fantastic way to describe pleasing male genitalia.

But if I say it, is it like my grandma trying to say "on fleek"?
It is our sincere hope that the awesome power of this phrase will endure.

How do I know if I've encountered a dick that’s too bomb?
Asking this question indicates you've never had this problem.

Can a vagina be too bomb? Can chocolate be too bomb?
Anything can be too bomb. But nothing will be as funny as saying Dick Too Bomb, so let's stop there.

Real talk, though: If I encounter a dick that’s just too bomb, what might happen?
It could result in poor choices such as repeatedly dating freeloaders who never pay for dinner, or tolerating men who like Creed or who wear cargo shorts and tube socks. Sometimes you may lose the ability to speak normally. But that level of bomb dick is incredibly rare.

Is there any hope for me if I encounter a D2B?
Like all addictive things, dependence on a bomb dick can be mitigated through responsible enjoyment and may include periods of withdrawal. It is our belief that there are no dicks so bomb that they are truly permanent in our lives if we want them gone.

So this explains a meme I often see on Instagram but have never bothered to Google?


Yes.