Women Give Up, Fall in Love With Gorillas Instead

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Photo: TORATORA9MURTON/Twitter

Studies show modern women tend to fall for guys with Neanderthal-like facial features, which explains why Brad Pitt is such an international heartthrob. Now ladies in Japan are taking this tendency one step further by developing crushes on our ape ancestors. Hey, they can't be any worse at being boyfriends than actual human men.

Shabani is a male gorilla at the Higashiyama Zoo and Botanical Gardens in Nagoya, Japan, and he is probably hotter than all of your ex-boyfriends. Shabani is so handsome, in fact, that young women in Japan have begun flocking to see him, watching him mug for the camera and spar with the other less hunky gorillas.

"Ikemen way too much," one zoo visitor tweeted, using a Japanese slang term for hot guys. "Women rushing in and have made a crowd every day."

Shabani is such a wanted ape that he convinced two different females to mate with him, making him a hot dad twice over. 

Step it up, dudes: You're apparently so subpar, women are literally crushing on primates instead.