It's a classic crush for a high-school girl: the skateboarding bad boy, a Bright Eyes–obsessed rebel who smokes American Spirits he bought with his allowance and doesn't even care that he got a C on that To Kill a Mockingbird paper.
Sadly, some men in Manhattan appear to believe that carrying around a skateboard (a "dapper deck" ) is a viable seduction strategy in middle age.
The Post, a newspaper that exists primarily to troll us, highlights a new crop of middle-aged men who are trading in the traditional trappings of a mid-life crisis for ... skateboards. Dressed in "bespoke Italian suits and designer shoes," these guys skateboard to Per Se instead of McDonald's and use their boards to pick up women.
"This thing is a chick magnet," IT specialist Cyril Therien told the Post. "I’m a suit — on a skateboard. Women like anything that’s unusual — and this is edgy without being over-the-top."
Hey, dudes, if you want to fake the bad-boy thing so desperately, just grow a man bun.