It’s a classic crush for a high-school girl: the skateboarding bad boy, a Bright Eyes–obsessed rebel who smokes American Spirits he bought with his allowance and doesn’t even care that he got a C on that To Kill a Mockingbird paper.
Sadly, some men in Manhattan appear to believe that carrying around a skateboard (a “dapper deck” ) is a viable seduction strategy in middle age.
The Post, a newspaper that exists primarily to troll us, highlights a new crop of middle-aged men who are trading in the traditional trappings of a mid-life crisis for … skateboards. Dressed in “bespoke Italian suits and designer shoes,” these guys skateboard to Per Se instead of McDonald’s and use their boards to pick up women.
“This thing is a chick magnet,” IT specialist Cyril Therien told the Post. “I’m a suit — on a skateboard. Women like anything that’s unusual — and this is edgy without being over-the-top.”
Hey, dudes, if you want to fake the bad-boy thing so desperately, just grow a man bun.