Have you heard? Swollness is infectious and spreading. Known afflicted parties include the cast of Magic Mike, Chocolate City, and Canadian rapper Drake. Recent evidence even suggests that swollness is moving overseas. A recent case was sighted in Asia, where concerned netizens have taken to Weibo (the Chinese version of Twitter), sharing pictures of a swollness-afflicted bean-curd seller from Taiwan and a durian seller from Malaysia (as first reported by BuzzFeed).
Symptoms of swollness include the inability to wear shirts (swollness raises body temperature) and abs so cut they could be used to make a finely balanced fruit plate (swollness strikes first in the stomach region). Have you seen other evidence of swollness in your area? Is there a magic mangosteen seller in your hood who might have a case of swolls? Have you seen your neighborhood celery vendor pounding lots of protein? Do your duty as a global citizen, review the pictures below of these new swollness cases in Asia, and let us know — because if you see something, say something.
