Last Thursday night, Amber Panghorn was driving to her parents' house in Northern California when she felt labor pains. She decided to take a shortcut, got lost in a million–acre national forest, ran out of gas, and didn’t have cell-phone service, so she delivered her baby by herself, in the woods.
Instead of leaving said baby to be raised by wolves and lying down to die as I would have done, Panghorn got down to business: She named the baby (Marisa, awww), fought off swarms of attacking bees, then managed to survive for three days on apples, soda, and water. Finally, when no passersby found her by Saturday, she decided to signal for help by using hairspray and glittery nail polish to MacGyver a huge signal fire, which of course started a forest fire that fortunately caught the attention of officials who saved Pangborn and her child before they were engulfed by flames.
They are currently safe in a hospital in their hometown in Oroville, California. No word yet if mother and child will face arson charges.