I do not embrace fall. Pumpkin spice does nothing for me. Sweaters give me staticky hair. The whole season just generally sucks, in my opinion, and these three new fall polishes from Smith and Cult best express my "Why is it getting so dark so early?" angst. If Daria (the perma-sarcastic MTV teen, not Werbowy) wore nail polish, she would choose the shade Filth Noir, a rich burgundy plum with an undercurrent of blackness that's as dark as her mood. Her best friend, Jane, would go for No Poem, a dark stone gray that's the polish form of a side-eye to pretty, classic greige. And if they wanted something more witchy, they both might go for Regret the Moon, an off-white that glows with an almost eerie luminescence.
Smith and Cult Nail Lacquer, $18 at Smith and Cult.