10 Reasons I’m Never Giving Up Bacon

You sexy beast. Photo: Carmen Troesser/Corbis

The World Health Organization’s public-health arm caused widespread despair on the internet yesterday when it declared that processed meats like bacon cause cancer. While levelheaded people have pointed out that the WHO classifies carcinogens based on the strength of the scientific evidence that they can cause cancer, not the relative risk that they’ll actually cause it — which, in the case of processed meat, is very small — others are promoting anti-bacon hysteria. I will not stand for this nonsense. Not only is it inaccurate, but a life without bacon would be bleak and joyless. Here are ten reasons why this cured meat will always be worth eating.