Man Calls 911 Because His Girlfriend ‘Wouldn’t Give Him Any Ass’

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Photo: Sean Locke/Getty Images

Sometimes your boyfriend really wants to bang and you're just not feeling it. It happens! Most guys accept this with minimal grumbling. But not Patrick Doggett. He called the cops.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, 53-year-old Doggett "stated he called 911 because his girlfriend would not give him any ass." When police asked his girlfriend for her side of the story, she said she was too busy babysitting her grandchild to cater to her man's every fleeting desire like some sort of pleasure robot (or something to that effect).

Do men this week seem more convinced than usual that the world owes them something? It's gonna be a long winter.