This Sad Elephant’s Love Life Sucks More Than Yours

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Kandula wishes he could just use Tinder. Photo: Nikki Kahn/The Washington Post v/2015 The Washington Post

If ever you reach the end of Tinder — it happens — and begin to feel abject hopelessness when regarding the cesspool that is your love life, here’s a small comfort: At least your love life is still better than Kandula the elephant’s!

Kandula needs to mate but can’t. The only female elephants in his home at the Smithsonian National Zoo are related to him. And so, Tuesday afternoon, the 13-year-old male elephant was ripped away from the only home he’s ever known and loaded onto a flatbed truck to travel 1,300 miles to the Oklahoma City Zoo, where the female elephants await his arrival and he can finally find a mate, reports the Washington Post.

See, so it isn’t so bad. In the end, wouldn’t you rather stay single in your respective home cities? Or would you rather have to travel halfway across the continent to be set up with a long-term partner that you’ll mate with for the rest of your life, like Kandula?

Don’t answer that.