Ivanka Insists Her Dad Believes in Gender Equality When It Comes to His Female Spawn

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Ivanka Trump. Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

Donald Trump is a nightmare preying on the fears of racist American cretins and also, according to his daughter, Ivanka, a great feminist.

In a recent interview, Ivanka told Town & Country magazine:

"Yeah, she’s really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married and, ya know, her father ..."

Oops, sorry! Not the quote I meant to grab — that's Donald Trump on Ivanka from a September 2015 Rolling Stone Donald Trump profile. Let me try again:

"I mean, we could say politically correct that look doesn't matter, but the look obviously matters. Like, you wouldn't have your job if you weren't beautiful."

Arrgg, sorry! Still not the right quote. That one is Trump to a female reporter in September of 2014. Okay, here we go:

"Look at that face. Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next next president? I mean, she’s a woman, and I’m not s’posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?”

Ugh. Still not the Ivanka quote. That one is Trump on Carly Fiorina, doy. Not sure how I keep messing this up. All right, let's try this again:

“… she does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

Damn. You'd think this was my first time using copy and paste! Hah. Okay, here we go, Ivanka in Town & Country:

"My favorite part [of ‘Pulp Fiction’] is when Sam has his gun out in the diner and he tells the guy to tell his girlfriend to shut up. Tell that bitch to be cool. Say: ‘Bitch be cool.’ I love those lines.”

Man oh man. That one — argh, once again, so sorry about this! — is Trump, quoted in Timothy OBrien's 2005 book TrumpNation: The Art of Being The Donald, about his favorite part in the movie Pulp Fiction. Thanks for sticking with me through all of these embarrassing errors. Gotta get it right this time:

"There’s nothing I love more than women, but they’re really a lot different than portrayed. They are far worse than men, far more aggressive ..."

Fuck:

“It’s certainly not groundbreaking news that the early victories by the women on The Apprentice were, to a very large extent, dependent on their sex appeal.”

Rats! Okay, here we go. Ivanka told Town & Country magazine, after referring to her dad as "one of the great advocates for women":

“He 100 percent believes in equality of gender. He has been a great example to me my whole life [and has] confidence in women to do any job that a man can do, and my whole life has been proof of that. If he didn’t feel that women were as competent as men, I would be relegated to some role subordinate to my brothers.”

Ah. :)