Nobody Tells Russell Crowe What to Do With His Hoverboards

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This man will hover if he pleases. Photo: Lisa Maree Williams/Getty Images

Hoverboards — the transport trend gliding across the nation, crushing other transport trends beneath its displeasing blue glow, laughing nasally at the destruction left in its wake — have reached the golden sands of Russell Crowe's Australia. They rest unpeacefully there, not because of their wild flammability or their threat to the skeletal well-being of dork children and celebrities, but because of a single, formidable Crowe rival — a merriment saboteur: Virgin Australia Airlines.

Picture this: A bag packed to the zipper with hoverboards. Now, picture this: The bag is set on the floor of an airport. And now, picture this: Two children are looking upon the bag and smiling. A happy scene, yes?

No.

Russel Crowe, no stranger to social media, took to Twitter recently to complain about a run-in with the hoverboard-hating fascists at Virgin Australia Airlines. As it turns out, just because the lithium ion batteries in hoverboards will probably catch on fire mid-flight causing all passengers to quickly descend to a terrifying and fiery death, and just because earlier this month hoverboards were banned by pretty much all major airlines due to the fact that they will probably catch on fire mid-flight causing all passengers to quickly descend to a terrifying and fiery death, Russel Crowe wasn't allowed to bring hoverboards on his flight?!

Unbelievable.

Virgin released a flimsy statement, barely justifying their cruel behavior:

"Safety is our number one priority at Virgin Australia. Due to safety concerns, Virgin Australia, along with all major Australian airlines and many around the world, do not permit the carriage of lithium ion battery operated small recreational vehicles, such as self-balancing boards, hoverboards or aero wheels, as checked-in or carry-on baggage."

Yeah, yeah.

Next time you want to go on holiday, Russell Crowe, I suggest hovering.