How Would You Like Your Hot Dude Today?

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Hot dudes: they can lay down.
Hot dudes: they can lay down.Photo: Instagram

Welcome to Hot Dude Headquarters, the one-stop shop for all of your hot-dude needs. Here at Hot Dude Headquarters, hot dudes are but paper dolls for you to pluck and drop into any scene or circumstance of your choosing. Today, you’ll be receiving a hot dude, of course, but it’s up to you to decide how you situate him. Let’s take a tour, shall we?

First, we have our Basic Human Tasks section, where we celebrate hot dudes for being human. If you choose this category, you can have your hot dude …

Lie in bed:

Have hair:

Exist in autumn:

Go outside:

Next is Basic Adult Tasks, where we celebrate hot dudes for possessing preliminary life skills, such as …

Taking a shower:

Reading:

Commuting:

Cooking:

Participating in democracy:

Care-taking:

Our Pets section is pure BuzzFeed bait! Here, we have hot dudes with:

Dogs:

Cats:

Horses:

Our Culinary offerings are extensive, and feature options for every gourmand. The men of this section …

Drink wine:

Drink coffee:

Eat food:

Thank you for choosing Hot Dude Headquarters! We hope we helped you visualize your preferred activity for a hot dude so that you may venture forth, happily thinking of hot dudes doing and being with things.