This List of Foods Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen Don’t Eat Is Making Me Very Hungry

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So beautiful, so hungry.
So beautiful, so hungry.Photo: Andrew H. Walker

If you’re looking for reading material that might help better inform your unbearable approach to faking a cleanse, look no further than this interview with Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen’s personal chef, Allen Campbell. In it, Campbell outlines the foods the power couple deign worthy for entry into their bodies, and the much, much longer list of foods they do not.

Among the ingredients the Brady-Bündchen family do not consume: white sugar, white flour, MSG, coffee, caffeine, olive oil, iodized salt, fungus, dairy, and, of course, nightshade vegetables. (“I’m very cautious about tomatoes,” says Campbell. “They cause inflammation.”)

The list of foods they do eat reads like the menu you composed while in the throes of commitment to your healthy-eating New Year’s resolution, before you gave up and bought the box of Oreos.

“[Eighty] percent of what they eat is vegetables,” Campbell told Boston.com. “[I buy] the freshest vegetables. If it’s not organic, I don’t use it. And whole grains: brown rice, quinoa, millet, beans. The other 20 percent is lean meats: grass-fed organic steak, duck every now and then, and chicken. As for fish, I mostly cook wild salmon.”

Okay, but what about when they want to let loose a little bit and indulge?

“I’ve just did [sic] this quinoa dish with wilted greens,” Campbell said. “I use kale or Swiss chard or beet greens. I add garlic, toasted in coconut oil. And then some toasted almonds, or this cashew sauce with lime curry, lemongrass, and a little bit of ginger. That’s just comfort food for them.”

It’s fine, Tom and Gisele. I eat enough cookies for the three of us.