Woman Wakes Up to Raccoon-Monkey Hybrid Sensually Caressing Her Face

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New snuggle buddy!
New snuggle buddy!Photo: Roland Seitre

Consider the worst possible ways to wake up: to the sound of a jackhammer, to someone on the phone with bad news, to “Chop Suey!” by System of a Down. Honestly, all of these pale in comparison to being woken up by a strange raccoon-monkey hybrid sensually stroking your face.

An unnamed 99-year-old woman was rudely awoken from slumber by a kinkajou, which had somehow escaped its owner’s house and ended up snuggling in bed with her. When the woman screamed, the exotic animal ran up into the attic and stayed there until a family friend hatched an ingenious plan:

“I start thinking, ‘How are we going to get this animal out?’ So I googled kinkajou sounds and found a video,” Moghari told WPLG. After doing an Internet search for kinkajous, Moghari played some kingajous sounds with the speaker held up to the ceiling, the animal emerged. Moghari then used cherries to help lure the hungry and frightened animal into a cage.

The kinkajou, named Banana, was reunited with his owner; the elderly woman never slept again.