Honestly We Should All Have a Human Laptop-Holder Like This Ancient Greek Statue

By
Looks like a laptop to me.
Looks like a laptop to me.Photo: The J. Paul Getty Museum

To the less astute, this ancient Greek statue may appear to depict a woman holding open the lid of a shallow chest. But the woke among us know the real truth: It actually shows a woman reading the Cut on her ancient laptop.

Conspiracy theorists, paranormal investigators, and Back to the Future superfans are convinced that Grave Naiskos of an Enthroned Woman With an Attendant shows a woman using a laptop with not one but two USB ports. It also appears to depict her employing a highly creative laptop stand — a fellow human being.

So you’re telling me the ancient Greeks invented democracy and were pioneers of technological accessories? Truly remarkable.