12 Amazing, Totally Real, Not-at-All-Made-Up Powers of the Mediterranean Diet

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Photo: snyferok

If you’ve picked up even one health magazine in your life, you probably read about the Mediterranean diet, which consists of eating lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, nuts, and olive oil, plus some fish, dairy, and wine in moderation. (Translation: It’s a diet low in red meat, saturated fat, and sugar.)

Research continually suggests that it’s great for your heart and it could maybe also help you lose weight and lower your risk for diabetes and breast cancer. Plus, it might help keep your brain young and your gut bacteria well-fed.

Now, a study found that postmenopausal women who followed the eating plan were less likely to suffer from hip fractures than those who didn’t. CNN gleefully chirped: “Mediterranean diet wins again, helps bones.”

Is there anything the Mediterranean diet can’t do? Nope!

Eating a Mediterranean Diet can*:

Give you the power to smite all catcallers with a lightning bolt.

Make Instagram timelines immune to the new algorithm.

Convince your boyfriend to stop wearing gym shoes with jeans.

Get Halsey to return that sweatshirt.

Increase the hotness of your Tinder matches.

Cure your insomnia and help you wake up feeling completely rested.

Free the tampons.

Solve the mystery of Malaysian Airlines Flight 370.

Secure you a sold-out Kylie Lip Kit.

Re-fund Planned Parenthood.

Block Trump from winning the Republican nomination.

* Claims not yet scientifically proven.