Informal research by the website Mashable suggests that dads just might want to have their own baby showers when they’re expecting. “In 2015,” according to the site, “Pinterest searches for the term ‘man showers’ increased by 149%, and ‘co-ed showers,’ celebrations for both moms and dads, increased by 255%.”
Coed showers — in which both parents are involved and guests of all genders are invited — have been on the rise for at least the past ten years. So with all of this movement toward inclusion, what do dads have to say about baby showers? We asked a bunch of dads what they really think, and the answers might surprise you. Just kidding, they probably won’t!
The Cut: So, how do you feel about baby showers?
Josh, dad to a 2-year-old: Totally indifferent.
Was your baby shower co-ed?
Alan, dad of 1-year-old twins: It was. Honestly it never occurred to me it would be anything but co-ed. [Six out of the seven dads we asked had co-ed baby showers.]
Do you think dads SHOULD be included in baby showers?
Brian, dad of a 3-year-old and a 2-year-old: It’s always nice to be included, and I think an active “no dads” stance potentially sends a weird message about domestic roles and parenting dynamics. But people should do what they want! It’s a stressful enough time without worrying about who gets to go to a shower.
Eric, a dad-to-be: I don’t really understand it being only for women. Something about that seems archaic. I can see an aspect of it being about women sharing in a bond together. And if that’s the idea, then maybe men don’t belong.
Would you feel bad if you weren’t invited to a friend’s baby shower? Or your own?
All of the dads, in some form or another: Nope.
Which brings us to our last question. Let’s say you’re not the parent-to-be, but a guest. Would you prefer to be invited to a baby shower or to stay home?
Brian: Is it bad that I’d like to be invited and to stay home? I like feeling included, but am also lazy. I am a bad person. More to the point, I guess, I’ve never been offended by not being invited, and in fact if I ever were invited it would come as a surprise.
Conclusion: Most of the dads we asked said they’d rather stay home, which gets to the heart of the issue: Baby showers suck. They’re at a weird time of day, they involve weird activities, and often it’s a weird crew assembled in your honor. But adding the other parent to the mix can only make things less awkward and better in the long run, right? Right?
